Peace and blessings...peace.and.blessings.

This past week was filled with peace and blessings indeed.  I will highlight one specific example.  On Saturday, Justin and I took our engagement pictures.  It was fun, but I'd say I'm definitely more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it.  I am way too critical of every little thing about myself in pictures.  It's a problem, really.  Anyways, when we were out and about, I received a phone call from the principal of the school in Gonzales that I applied to.  She wanted me to come in for an interview on Thursday at 1:30.  So if you think about it, please be praying for me!  I did a little happy dance, and then proceeded with the photo shoot.  So that was the blessing.  Here's where I had to find the peace.  I, like everybody else in the world, have insecurities.  The main one I struggle with is inadequacy.  This feeling of never being good enough has caused me to doubt my God-given talents and abilities in many situations.  So in this situation specifically, I struggle with believing that I even have a shot at this job.  I have a health degree for crying out loud.  My teaching experience is with 3-year-olds and teenagers.  On one end of that spectrum I'm dealing with potty accidents and coloring on other little friends with markers.  On the other end I'm dealing with giving dating advice.  I'll let you use your best judgment to figure out which one is which.  Point being, my silly fears get in the way of me truly believing that God is capable of enabling me to do what He has called me to do.  It breaks my heart to be so fearful sometimes.  This morning as I was once again struggling with this issue, I came across my notes on a podcast I listened to a few months ago.  One quote I wrote down totally put it into perspective.  "The man who fears is the man who has forgotten that God is in control."  Boom.  That was me.  I wonder how long it will take me to finally stop putting so much pressure on myself to feel like I have to fix a situation.  In all reality, if God wills me to work in Gonzales, then that's where I'll be.  It is ridiculous for me to be stressing about an interview that in the grand scheme of things is so insignificant.  God knows if I will get this job or not.  It's completely in His hands.  Then came the peace.  Regardless of whether I get this job or not, there is no failure.  I either get the job, or the blessing of experience for the next opportunity. 

On that note, I will let you know how it goes!
Peace and blessings!          

New new new!

New blog! As much as I love Kristen Squared, I decided that for this new stage of my life I wanted a new writing outlet as well. So here I am...

The past few weeks have been absolutely insane.  It all started on St. Patrick's Day. Not only was this day awesome because I'm Irish, but that was the day my dear Justin proposed. For those of you who have yet to see it, here is how it all went down. Let me know when you're done sobbing...

...Oh good! I digress.

The past few weeks have been full of wedding planning, appointments, etc. The wedding date will be August 11th.  That's exactly 4 months away.  As excited as I am, I am still undeniably nervous that we will be able to pull off an enjoyable event given the short time frame. However, within these 3 weeks we have booked the venue, caterer and DJ, bought my dress/his suit, sent Save the Dates, among other various odds and ends details. I'd say that's pretty good!

All that being said, let me be very honest and somewhat vulnerable. Too many times within the past few weeks I have allowed myself to be consumed with all the craziness of the planning that I have failed to focus on the true meaning of it all. The purpose of our marriage and everything leading up to it is for the glory of God. He blessed us with one another in the first place.  How selfish of me to push Him aside just because I have "more important" things to tend to.  Especially the past week, there has been such a strong conviction on my heart that I have been putting more energy into preparing for the outward appearance of the event than the inward. Let me clarify. What would be more beneficial to our marriage: making sure that every flower arrangement and centerpiece is perfect or growing closer to the Lord so He can equip me to be the best wife I can be?  If you chose the second option, you're right. If you chose the first, well, sorryboutya...     The point being, it would be foolish of me to put all my time and energy into preparing for the actual event while forsaking the importance of preparing my heart.  That's not to say I should totally give up on the planning and just throw some Dollar Tree tealights and Chex Mix on the tables and call it a day (although I'm sure my dad would have no problem with that).  Absolutely not. I still desire for our wedding to be beautiful, because I believe we have been truly blessed with a beautiful relationship (queue "awww"). But if I am allowing the aesthetics of the event to overpower the One who brought us together, then I am totally missing the point.

All in all, I am elated, ecstatic, thrilled and overjoyed to be marrying such an incredible man of God. I have truly been blessed with far more than I could have ever imagined or deserve. 

Thanks for reading!
Have a great week!